Tweezer Fetish

About 13 years ago Jenya and I made a lavish salad for dinner using vegetables from our new garden. It was delicious, but afterward my throat was sore and I had an interminable desire to cough. I ate ice cream and gargled salt water – this didn’t help. I tried singing for a while, but the soreness only got worse.

I asked Jenya to look if anything was obviously lodged in my throat. She shined a flashlight into my gaping mouth and said, “oh my god there IS something back there.”

She ran out to purchase a pair of long tweezers, then deftly plucked the offending item from my tonsil – it was a foxtail. Perhaps I should have washed the salad more carefully.

Nine years later I was telling this exact story at a party. The very next night we were eating take out Chinese food when suddenly I noticed that familiar weird feeling in the back of my throat. And just like before Jenya used a flashlight and saw something sticking out from the walls of my gullet AGAIN.

This time however those tweezers weren’t long enough, so I ended up waiting in an emergency room for three hours until a doctor with super-size tweezers could pluck this foreign object out. It was a tiny bone shard from a poorly chopped spare rib.

About Matt Lebofsky

Musician wearing many hats. Played in a bunch of bands, toured in hundreds of cities around the planet. Also a general geek who works on several of the world's biggest scientific projects searching for extraterrestrial intelligence. Grew up in suburban NYC. Now lives in Oakland, CA.
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